In the fluorescent-lit trenches of the Woolworths
kingdom, two legends rose to power.
There was Will, the No. 1 Shit Kicker—an
aggressively handsome, athletic specimen who spent his shifts lifting heavy
crates to flex his biceps and dodging rogue shopping trolleys. Then came Beth,
the Online Assassin, a fiercely hardworking whirlwind of speed and sharp
wit. She ruled the click-and-collect aisles, made everyone laugh, and earned
the sacred title of Bethy Butt for how legendary she looked in a pair of
denim jeans.
The Corporate Overlords soon noticed their power
and promoted them both to Managers. Ruling the store together, their
chaotic courtship was sealed in the crumb-covered sanctuary of the staff
breakroom.
They traded the highest currency known to retail
warfare: sacred Strawberry Milk and a KitKat.
"An offering for the Assassin," Will
smirked, sliding the pink dairy goodness across the table.
Bethy Butt snapped the chocolate bar in half. "You live another
day, Shit Kicker."
Between secret chocolate handoffs and Will
admire-following her down the confectionery aisle, a grand alliance was born.
Having survived the horrors of retail together, the Shit Kicker and the
Assassin united their empires for good.